Today, the term “Ghosting” has nothing to do with the supernatural. The Urban Dictionary defines Ghosting as: “The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date.” Sound familiar? Like it or not, in today’s “hookup culture”, ghosting has become quite common, if not the norm.
Reality check, ghosting makes a lot of sense in most situations. Why break-up with a person you’re dating if there was never any discussion of commitment? It really comes down to a few basic questions, how serious it was with the person you were dating, their maturity level and communication skills. It seems ghosting is here to stay, so let’s figure out how to deal with it.
1. Accept It
Each of us has been ghosted or has ghosted someone else and if you claim otherwise, you’re probably lying. Bit of advice, if you chase down the ghoster and demand a reason as to why the relationship ended, you’re only going to end up not liking the answer. Most likely you won’t get the truth and if you do find out the real reason, it could hurt your feelings.
2. Establish a Time Frame
You’re dating a great guy, and everything seems to be going well, then he disappears for a few days! That’s not ghosting honey, he’s probably just busy. But, if all forms of communication evaporates for more than a couple of weeks, you’ve been ghosted. If you don’t hear from him after a few weeks, just accept that this is not the guy for you, and;
3. Move On
Remember that getting ghosted really has nothing to do with you. You are who you are. What bothered the guy who didn’t want to continue dating you could be the very thing the next guy falls in love with you for. Do yourself a favor and move on…
1. Resist the Urge
This is not to suggest that only men do the ghosting! Women are just as guilty and do it too. Guys, if you’re not into the girl you’re dating anymore, do the mature thing and let her know that it’s not going anywhere. Face-to-face is obviously that best way, but a “Yo girl, I just don’t think this is working out” text will do the trick as well.
2. Less is More
You really don’t need to give any reason(s) as to why the relationship isn’t working out. Maybe you got back together with your ex or her dog annoyed the hell out of you. Whatever the reason is, you don’t need to explain it. Especially if it might hurt her feelings…
3. Don’t Be Sad
Yes, men get ghosted too. If you were really into the girl, it could sting. But everything happens for a reason. If you look backwards and predominately focus on the closed door, you could miss the next great opportunity that’s right in front of your face.